Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Wait Poem

I've not posted lately anything about our journey because I've been frustrated and the words weren't coming out right. Since our weekend trip, I've found rest and peace but that's not without confusion and frustration. A dear friend of mine contacted me last night saying that she went for her 1st ultrasound and they found nothing there but the egg sac. They told her that she could just be off in her weeks/days and that it was too small to see and that they would be monitoring her numbers throughout the week. She told me that she knows the truth in her heart that it's not numbers...
I wrestled with this all through the night last night to why this was happening to her (she and I have been trying for our 1st about the same amount of time and she's been an encouraging word, even though we've never met in person throughout it all) and why we were going through what we were going through also.
Next month, Oct. 16 to be exact, marks 1 year for us trying for our first baby and that breaks my heart. It really hit me hard the other day when we got home from our weekend getaway. 1 year?! I never thought this would be us going through this.

A lady that found a reply of mine to a post on another blog messaged me last night and mentioned this poem she had posted on her blog from the book Hannah's Hope and thought I should read it. The lady's name is Mandi and I am truly thankful for her encouraging words and told her that I had to post this to share with you.

The Wait Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply."
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
"Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

This poem reminded me why we're going through this and that we are to wait on God and not rush His timing. Our testimony from this will do nothing but glorify God and our tears will be changed to pure joy. Thank you for all those that pray for us and have sent us encouraging words. It truly means the world to me.
~God Bless


Kecia said...

Wait is aways kind a hard thing to do... I know... My struggle is not the same as yours but is heavy to me.
In april 2003 i was diagnosed with an certain illness that has limited my life,i have bad days spetially on the days that i have to go to the doctors office...
Basically,i can do normal things like every 23 old young woman do... I cant stay alone,cant go out alone,cant drive a car... Sometimes i really can even shower by myself... By i know that God is by my side and,i know that one day i'll be free AGAIN!!And i will do everything that i cant do right now... There a brazilian song by a gospel siger named Kleber Lucas that has become my anthem that says:
"I know that above the dark clouds,the sun hasn't stop to shine,just because the sky ins dark... My life is in God,i know that in Him every thing is possible because He is my strength!And i1m going to walk by faith with my God to the highest and through lower valley... Jesus will make me sar like an eagle!"

Remenber that the hope is reborn in our hearts with the sure that the Lord is near...

Mandi said...

I'm SO glad this poem encouraged you! God will reveal Himself to you in ways only He can as you walk the path He has chosen for you. Keep believing Him...He loves you so!

DeAnna said...

Got here from another's blog, which I got to from sew forum.... I have been there sister and I know your struggle and in SOOO many ways I would never want to go back. That was the hardest time of our life. BUT, I do know that it was such a sweet time being constantly dragged to my knees crying out to God and Him drawing us closer. And then to see Him answer our prayer, wow! But still, praise God I don't have to go back to that time.:) God is mighty and His way is perfect!!! I love this verse (you probably have already heard it) and I claimed it for the 5 years we were trying. (Psalm 113:9)
"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD." He will do this for you!! I know waiting is miserable though, but just keep trusting Him. For us, he changed our hearts and our desires and blessed us with 2 beautiful girls through adoption. But however He blesses you, he promises to do that! And although I love adoption, I'm not mentioning adoption thinking that is for you. I used to hate when people would just throw that up at me. It was just the way that God had for us and now I wouldn't change a thing. And rather than post the whole thing here, this was another encouragment that I had posted on my blog: http://bellaandmilly.blogspot.com/2006/08/prayer.html#comments

It was an amazing encouragement to me to think of how God wanted Hannah before He could get the man He wanted in Samuel. I'll remember to pray for you, I definitely remember these days of waiting!