Friday, April 3, 2009

Weekend anxiety

This weekend is sad and exciting for me and I'm not wanting it to come but then again I do. Josh leaves tomorrow for Oklahoma for a conference and meeting and will be gone until Friday, April 10th. That's 6 nights and 7 days!!! I'm sooo dreading it! However, my mom is coming to pick me up and take me w/ her to Texarkana to stay tomorrow night and go to a lingerie shower for my dr.'s youngest daughter tomorrow afternoon and then us "goof," as mom calls it, all the rest of the day. I am also excited because I have MY FIRST BABY SHOWER THIS SUNDAY! Yeah!! The lovely ladies of my sorority, Phi Mu, are hosting me a shower Sunday afternoon here on campus and mom and mammy are coming with me too. It's gonna be soo fun! Full of Pink, lions, and all things girly! Can't wait!!

I am having LOADS of anxiety these days. I am, as my mom said, "Nesting" and I feel like I am not accomplishing ANYTHING every day. The house seems to never been clean enough, the nursery is in disarray, the guest room looks like a storage building, the nursery closet doesn't have the organizers I want in it b/c we haven't bought them, Josh is leaving for 6 nights and 7 days, work is crazy (full-time job), Bizzy Bs is closed for orders but is still piled up w/ 6 un-finished orders, I've not sewn anything for Shelby but the 3 onesies and some bows, I've not finished crocheting her baby blankie, I'm having to count my calorie intake every day, I'm worried about having to take that stupid 1 hr glucose test again fearful that I'll be 140 still and they'll make me take the 3 hour test, worried that no one will come to my Phi Mu shower because the invites were just sent out a week ago, and on and on... I AM OVERWHELMED TO THE MAX!!! OH and I'm dreading Easter b/c I now regret the dress we bought b/c I'll look like an elephant in it. I refer to the dress as my "Easter Tent." I just feel like I've got sooo much anxiety built up and NONE of it is wanting Shelby to come any sooner. I need her to take her time. I am SICK of being asked or told, "I bet you're ready to have that baby." Umm, actually, I'm farther than anything from that idea. I want her to stay nice and comfy, even though I'm not, as long as she can so I can get SOMETHING accomplished. I know I'm driving Josh crazy so I don't even mention anything. I just try to pretend it'll all get done itself. He's so busy w/ work and traveling I'm not sure it will though. PLUS, we've got the Blossom Festival that Josh is head-steak-cooker for SAU again for and it's the 3rd weekend in May so I can only imagine how "peppy" and "polite" I'll be in the heat on black asphalt near a flaming grill by then.
Just pray for me... haha.. I feel like my brain is on "creative-overload" and never slows down. I told Josh last night, "I feel like I'm going crazy." I truly think I am...
~God bless,


Kecia said...

Oh dear Sister... We are prayng for you,for your mind and body. Pregnancy can be a little overwellming,but just remember that:
" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8.28

Rest in God,and try to have ome fun! Everything will go perfectly according to God's plans!

We love you in Christ!
And you are ALWAYS in our thoughts and prayers!

A big hug from your extended brazilian family...

Nisia and Kecia.

jellaan said...

Hang in there! Try to relax and realize you can only get so much done. I remember when I was pregnant with each of my kids how much I wasnted to get done for them before they arrived and I never got everything done and some things still aren't done!! haha! My daughter just turned 2 and I still don't have anything sewn for her room (valences & bed skirt), but it's not hurting her!! Welcome to will always have too many things to accomplish and will realize it will get done when it gets done!!