Anew...

Hi! So far the pregnancy is going well. I've had a rough week w/ LOTS of sickness and extreme exhaustion and LOTS of drama that I'm trying to avoid to not get stressed over or discouraged from but in all honesty, I'm broken...
I feel like I'm unsure of who our friends are. This all started Sunday when our preacher resigned and our staff as well to start their own church. That in itself is discouraging and heartbreaking b/c we are left empty and feel as if we're being asked to "choose sides" and the only side we will choose is God's, not ANY man's. I feel like if we go, we're deserting our family and old friends and if we stay, we loose all our friends that are our age and are being looked down upon for staying. We won't to follow God's will but right now, I don't know what that is. Josh won't let me go to any meetings or participate in anything that might be confrontational b/c he knows how hurt I am by this and doesn't want me to get stressed and hurt myself and the baby. My heart is aching and broken...
I know God has a plan for our church but really, I just want to give up and move to a different church, not the one we're apart of or the one that's being formed. Just start anew. I want what's best for our family and right now, I feel like this non-sense of lies, rumors, confrontation and heartache is not what's best for us or anyone invovled. Things are just being laid in our laps to do w/o even being asked just b/c people know we can do it. Josh is distressed and that breaks my heart even more than ANY of the hurtful words we've been told or heard.
All I know to do is be calm, relax and pray through this... I WON'T let this ruin us or break us. Natalie Grant's song, "I will not be moved" is the FIRST song that comes to mind through this but ya know... the hurt is still here... the people I thought of as friends are now just gone and have COMPLETELY deserted us and it's like we never existed and that truly hurts my heart...I feel like we're being left out of things just b/c of this. I want what's best for our church and family. Right now, our church is broken and in extreme pain. Please pray for both sides of this that each person involved seeks God's true will and not rely on feelings. Please pray for us also and that we continue to persevere.

On a good note, ONLY 6 MORE DAYS TILL OUR 1ST APPOINTMENT AND WHEN WE GET TO SEE BABY KEE FOR THE 1ST TIME!! :) This baby seems to be my only joy these days and strength to get out of bed each day.