Valleys...

"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1

Last night I hit my breaking point. Tears flowed, frustrations heightened and questions arose. I was sitting on the couch checking my email, watching Project Runway and listening to my myspace music (which I highly recommend listening to b/c all the songs I've chosen on there ARE AWESOME and if I could figure out how to add the playlist thingy to this, I would! www.myspace.com/bekahkee ). When all the sudden I decided to scroll down and read what my Daily Bible Verse thingy said, while Chris Sligh's "Empty Me" song was playing. I read the words it quoted from Psalms and IMMEDIATELY felt like I had written the words that were before me. I'm dealing A LOT with personal demons, physical demons as well as spiritual demons in my life right now and in our home. The devil is doing all he can to try to break me and I'd be lying if I said he hasn't come close. The phrase, "When it rains, it pours" is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true in my life. It's almost like the devil is trying to use every valley as a knife to stab at my heart with. I see a valley as a journey we all must take to get to the mountain top and in each valley is where we become broken and are used the most. Our reactions to these "valleys" determine who we are. I've always believed and thought this my whole life. Now, I'm by no means saying I always have the right reaction b/c initially, I HARDLEY EVER DO but God always brings me closer to Him during these times.
Josh and I are in one HUGE BLOOMING VALLEY right now, I tell ya and some days it seems like there is no mountain top insight but I KNOW AND BELIEVE my God is a deliverer, healer and protector of the weak and HE WILL triumph over this as well as carry us to that mountain top. There are situations and pot-holes we're going through and in that would break any non-believer to the core but one thing endure and carries through and that's our love for OUR GOD, His word, and each other. WE WILL NOT break and give-up no matter how many times I think we've been through it all and need a break.
My heart is broken but my spirit is not. A friend reminded me of the "Footprints" poem and the part that IS ME AND ABOUT ME is this:
"Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious child. I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering when you saw only one set of footprints...
That was when I carried you."
THAT IS ME.... I'm a very visual person and often look to what my eyes can see instead of what my heart knows. God is carrying me and Josh and He's not letting us go.
Please pray for us and our strength. I PROMISE I'm still sewing and will post pictures soon! Haha.. Just wanted to share my heart today...