harder and harder...

Shelby wrote our New Year's Message on the kitchen display plate this time. She did so well!

 wow so I made the mistake of looking at previous posts and pictures of shelby, again.... bad idea... do NOT DO THIS when you're expecting or in a sad mood because seeing how big your child has grown in such a short time will make you into a puddle and being that I do not need to look like I fell in a puddle today, it was a very bad idea....

How does this happen? Then the guilt comes of "I should've spent more time w/ her doing __________" or "I should've cherished these moments more when she _______"... but God doesn't intend for me to feel guilty... He wants me to cherish and relish in how she's grown and who she's becoming and who she was then and where we are now, right? :)\

It's getting harder and harder physically to do things shelby and I once did as just us on Mommy & Me Monday's and soon, those days will be no more when she starts Kindergarten this August... Ok, stop it stop it... do not think about that Bekah....I'm not terrified, as odd as it feels, of being the mom of 2 soon (in 8 weeks!). I can't wait to see how Rhett and Shelby are together and seeing our family completed.  Yeap, that's right NO MORE LITTLE KEE'S AFTER RHETT! I've realized I could not physically carry another baby after Rhett.  It's painful enough at 30 (almost 31 in a month) and can't imagine doing it again being older and having 2 KIDS to care for on top of everything else.  This pregnancy has been NO WALK IN THE PARK and I'm at the miserable stage, which I don't think I've NOT BEEN in the miserable stage come to think about it, just different misery each stage, LOL...

I know once this is over and Rhett's here and we start all over w/ a new born and uncharted territory as a family of 4 instead of us 3, that this pain and misery will be a vapor and SOME SAY I will miss it and miss Rhett's "little kicks" and such... they've not felt it!! LOL... I want to agree, I do, but a part of me can't wait for this to be over and us all be here together and lovin on each other as a family. :)

So for now, I'm just going to dwell on the 8 weeks we HOPEFULLY have left as just the 3 of us and spend as much time one on one w/ Shelby and do all I can to show her how special she is and NOT how excited she is to be a big sister.  Ok, so on my soap box...
every time someone sees us out and talks to us and to shelby, the initial conversation to her is, "So are you excited to be a big sister?!" as sweet and kind as that may seem, it's annoying and not fair to her.  It's going to be all about Rhett soon enough, let's give SHELBY some attention while she can get it? Don't bypass her please... I know people don't mean this but it bothers me.  So, instead of flippin out, my response from now on will be, "yes she is, but for now it's all about her and how special and exciting she is. Rhett will have his turn soon enough." and smile :).... LOL...