She's 5!!

THIS BABY IS 5 YEARS OLD!!! at 7:54am, June 12, 2009 weighing 7 lbs 12 oz and 21.5" long Shelby Lynne Kee was born and the world stopped and the sun shown brighter and the birds sang a new song welcoming her!
OMG....how did this happen!! Shelby is the most amazing young lady I've ever had the pleasure of being around must less raising as MY BABY GIRL. :) She's such a bright light and beacon in this world and she WILL BE SOMETHING HUGE one day! I just know it! She has amazing friends and family who love her more than anything and I am so blessed to be called her Momma. :) Thank You God for this amazing girl.... She made me "Momma" and I am tremendously fortunate to be given the chance to be her momma. God gave us this miracle and we cannot wait for the years ahead with her and her "Bubby." :)

Happy birthday Sheebeeshake!

Being a mother...

Ok I'm calling it...
being a mom is THE HARDEST JOB EVER, yet the most fulfilling and highest paid.  We never get vacation or sick leave. Calling in cause you just don't want to go, is NOT an option.  There is always something to do and be done or should've already been done.
I'm in a difficult stage of motherhood: Balancing the newness of having 2 kids.  My OCD of keeping the house clean, laundry done, everything "just so," has GONE OUT THE WINDOW... Taking a shower is no longer relaxing but a race! A "bath" isn't even an option!  Eating together as a family consists of Shelby eating as soon as she gets home cause she's "STARVING (SHE SAYS)," Rhett nursing wherever I can find a place to plant myself cause I can't watch and do whatever shelby needs in the nursery, Josh eating whenever he gets home & me scarfing down my meal, that's usually luke warm, while placing rhett down or in Josh's care all while trying to be pleasant and hear about everyone's day.  We rarely have a meal all at the table but when we do, I cherish it! Eating out, well it's chaos (in my eyes anyway) but I'm gettin it. Not to mention nursing...I'm not comfortable nursing in public so I usually am stuck in the car nursing. I'm so glad that Rhett is doing so well nursing but being tied down is exhausting and a bit nerve-racking at times.  The feeling of being caged overwhelms me a lot. I look at Josh and Shelby outside playing while I'm inside cause it's too hot or he's asleep or he's nursing or .... whatever reason I can't be involved with them... it's getting to me...
this face is precious and these days are precious, but I find myself longing for the days before when life wasn't so hard...
Rhett is a miracle and that's the reality check/slap in the face I get a lot. We weren't supposed to have one baby, not to mention 2!! These days are a season and I will look back and probably miss SOME of it...
oh the chubbyness & spit bubbles...

This starting over is hard.  I'm sure it's just as hard, if not harder, to have younger babies closer in age, but just because I have an almost 5 year old... yeah that's happening IN A WEEK and I'm not taking it well nor is it easy to plan yet another fantastic DIY birthday bash for my baby girl....
ok, side tracked...
what was I saying? OH YEAH...

Just because I have an almost 5 year old and a 13 week old doesn't mean I have a "Big Helper" and life is a cake walk because it's not, mostly because of my part. I tend to make things a lot more difficult than if I would just go with the flow and let the messes happen.  I don't know how many times I've been told, "your home doesn't need to be perfect all the time." But to me, it does and it's not...and by home, I don't just mean the physical house.  This is the human in me. The Christian in me knows that perfection is not attainable until I will be with my Lord and Savior. 
Life is just different now and it's hard.  I've got to let myself be more lenient and laid back.  I've not been the best wife and mother to these babies because of how uptight and strict I think things need to be, and for that I'm sorry. The schedule doesn't have to always be kept, the house doesn't have to always be clean... Sitting and enjoying cuddles, messy sticky fingers, glitter in the rug because she made a pretty picture and baby clothes on the floor in the nursery because he's so healthy he keeps peeing through them...that's what's up... these are GOOD things...
I'm preaching to myself mainly in this post because I'm seeing how big of a let-down I have been by my attitude and actions lately.  Messes are ok and letting shelby be a kid is what she needs. She will start kindergarten in less than 2 months and she's gone from under my wing and that terrifies me! I don't know if I'm acting this way because I want more control of her since I'll be losing it or what.  Rhett is in the stage that he needs me...only me and that's very hard because I was used to so long being only meant for Shelby's needs and now that's not the case and it kills me. I want to be the one who is there and with her for every "first" like I've always been and be the one to sit with her in the yard and stare at the clouds and slide down the slip in slides and stuff...but now I can't.  I always have a baby in my arms...this is the season I'm in.  I feel guilty because I want my relationship I had with shelby back and feel as if it's been tarnished because I'm responsible for 2 babies now.  I love rhett w/ all my heart but my heart breaks for having to give-up the "us" time Shelby and I had each day.
Shelby starting Kindergarten will be the hardest day I've had to go through I think and I dread letting her go.  I am looking forward to hearing all her adventures and stories because she will love it but I will miss her every second of the day!
I know this sounds like I have a favorite child but I don't.  They both have favorite things I love the most of each one.  I love the cute baby things Rhett does and the funny and cute big girl things Shelby does...
Motherhood is hard....
that's all i know to say... it's just hard...
but I'm blessed to be their mother and God is overwhelming my life with His love and the responsibility to love these babies and be their momma...

thank You Lord...
thank you...

Sleep...it's a good thing!

Sleep is a good thing NO MATTER HOW you can get it!
We have come to realize this in our household.  Shelby has never been the best sleeper but we can now say she does sleep, which was not the case when she was a baby. She now sleeps and sometimes wakes up once during the night but recently hasn't been, which is good considering her brother! LOL..

Some how we started sleep training Rhett again. It was kinda thrown on me by Josh just doing it! That's good for me because I'm a planner and if I was to think about this subject I would have talked myself out of it! Josh put him down in his crib one afternoon over the Memorial Day break and HE SLEPT! So...that night we tried it! It's a good thing Rhett's room has a comfy twin bed!

Josh took the first shift that night. Rhett woke at 1am FROM 10PM to nurse and then it was my turn to take over. He SLEPT AGAIN til he was ready to nurse at 4am! Hallelujah! This made for a MUCH HAPPIER MOMMA and living environment for everyone...

We tried it again the 2nd night...
it went ok, not as good as the first, but it was still tolerable. That time I stayed in there all night and did the whole shift. He woke for his usual nursing sessions but then was wiggly after his 4a.m. one. Mommy didn't sleep much that night but it was still ok and better than him On ME or in OUR ROOM!
Last night was night 3 and it was GOLDEN! Rhett slept sooo well and so did I! Josh had to WAKE ME UP! That's not happened in about 11 weeks! He woke at 11:45pm and 4am to nurse! those were odd times but it worked! He slept til 6:35am! I got COMPLETELY ready for work (I work just 2 days in the summer but worked 3 days this week like my usual yearly work schedule) all by myself! I didn't know what to do! He woke, got him changed and fed and he and Shelby and I watched Wild Kratts on PBS before it was time for drop off of those two! This morning was so pleasant and that's made for a pleasant day also!

Speaking of "Drop Off's"...
Rhett has been at Miss Lis' for a month tomorrow! He LOVES IT & she loves him! She's the sweetest person and loves her babies! She is such a blessing to our family and a God-sent! Rhett goes just 2 days a week during the summer and will go 3 days when SAU starts back in August. He's done sooo well transitioning to taking a bottle while I work (of breatmilk of course; which pumping has been an adventure too for me but we've got our schedule down and it's all working well!)! I was worried he would have trouble taking a bottle during the day and then nursing in the evenings but he doesn't! No special bottles or anything! Just good ole Dr. Browns!

Breastfeeding has TOTALLY surprised me this time! With Shelby, I had to stop at 7 weeks because it was a struggle for she and I and it seemed to hurt her tummy. With Rhett, he's a champ and as you can see above, he's DEFINITELY getting nourishment! I had a co-worker/friend say, "You don't make breastMILK, you make CREAM! dANG! HE'S A BIG HEALTHY BOY GIRL!" And that he is! He is in the 95% in weight and 98% in height (that was at 2 months old). He's going to be 12 weeks THIS FRIDAY and it's unreal to me.  This go-around has been anything BUT EASY or a joy-ride.  2 kids is a huge adjustment and he's not been the happiest little thing but he's getting better!

Life is always a journey and this one is not always going to be this rough, I keep reminding myself.  Josh is my rock and without him there's NO WAY I'd survive or be able to make it.  He is such an amazing dad and husband.  Looking back and seeing where we've come from and who and where we are now, it's amazing. God has blessed us! It's not been easy but it's been a blessing!

end of her 3rd year of dance...

we did it! Dance recital! we all BARELY survived! it was long but it was great! Shelby did sooo well and we couldn't be more proud of her!
I finally got my video of her cheering from rehearsal to upload....  

 Here's photos to recap the adventure (CHAOS) known as, "backstage!" :)

She got her Little Carol doll right after her first number, jazz to "Baby I'm a Star" by Prince, and she was so excited to see another KDAS Dancer got one too that's in her "Walk Like an Egyptian" outfit that this girl danced to!

Here's Shelby and her Little Carol doll in their matching outfits! :) HERE is where I ordered her doll from. She's amazingly talented and all she went by was the picture of Shelby I sent her in her tap costume! The detail is unreal!

This ballet number made me cry, as ballet usually does. It was to "Someday My Prince Will Come" and all i could think of was her dreaming of her "Prince" but for now, DADDY is her prince and that's all that's allowed!!!

These girls have stolen my heart in the 3 years they've known each other and danced together! Someday I know they won't be this little and won't be dancing together but for now, I'm soaking them in! We love you Joci!